Neighborhoods and Towns

• People from Boson are called "Bostonians." People from Cambridge are, for some reason, called "Cantabridgians."
• "The Fenway" is a neighborhood. "Fenway" is a baseball stadium (subtle distinction). To make matters worse, there is a street called "The Fenway" which is in "The Fenway" (the neighborhood). But unless there's a number in front of it (like "200 The Fenway"), the phrase "The Fenway" almost always refers to the section of town, not the street. Confused? Good.
• Cambridge used to be called (and sometimes still is called) "The People's Republic of Cambridge." Back in the day, it was a hotbed of liberalism. It also used to have rent control, which people still bitch about losing, and rightfully so.
• The following places are Boston neighborhoods, not separate towns: Allston, Brighton, Jamaica Plain, South Boston, Dorchester, Roxbury, West Roxbury, Roslindale, Hyde Park, Mission Hill. There is some debate about this issue, and addressing letters to "[name of big neighborhood], MA" will get them there, but these places are not incorporated and are therefore part of Boston. They pay Boston taxes and send their kids to the Boston Public Schools.
• On a similar note: Cambridge, Somerville, Brookline, and Watertown are not part of Boston; they are separate towns.
• Boston-area town names are rarely pronounced the way they are spelled; this is intended to confuse and annoy. Take it from the natives: go here and learn how "Leominster" is really pronounced.
• The South End is a Boston neighborhood on the Orange Line populated by many gay men and yuppies. South Boston is a neighborhood on the Red Line (also known as "Southie") populated by many blue-collar Irish families. Do not confuse the two, or people will snicker. (Just remember Southie is where "Good Will Hunting" was set).
• It is, in fact, almost impossible to park one's car in Harvard Yard, or Harvard Square for that matter.
• "The Combat Zone" refers to hooker-infested and generally seedy bits of Chinatown. It's not that bad anymore. Think Times Square.

Acronyms Unveiled

• MFA = Museum of Fine Arts (not, as our friend Owen suggests, "Mother Fuckin' Art")
• BSO = Boston Symphony Orchestra
• JP = Jamaica Plain
• BCAE = Boston Center for Adult Education
• BPL = Boston Public Library
• BU = Boston Univeristy
• NU = Northeastern University
• BC = Boston College
• You probably know what MIT is (just in case: Massachusetts Institute of Technology)
• NECCO = New England Confectionery Company (the Cambridge factory is the only place in the world where Necco wafers and those talking candy hearts are made)
• MBTA = (see below)

Transportation

• The subway system is called "The T" (short for MBTA, which, in turn, is short for Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority.)
• T routes are defined by color: Red, Green, Blue, Orange. The Green Line is further split up into branches: B, C, D, and E (A has been discontinued).
• MBTA commuter trains (the ones that go out to the deep suburbs) are called "The Commuter Rail." You can call it the Purple Line, but only if you've already lived here for a while and you want to be snide.
• MBTA buses are called "buses."
• The T sends out its last train at about 12:30, effectively killing Boston's nightlife at 11:59 p.m.
• You can get useful things like bus schedules at this web site.
• The airport is called "Logan," so don't call it the Boston Airport or something.
• Do not, under any circumstances, make fun of a T driver's thick Boston accent. We've all heard the "Haahvahd Yaahd" joke already, and it will make everyone assume you're a freshman.
• Do not confuse the T stops Kenmore and Kendall. Kenmore is on the green line and is a very young neighborhood. Kendall is on the red line and has lots of offices in the vicinity. If you have a job interview, it's probably at Kendall.
• The Green line features a stop called "Longwood" and another stop called "Longwood Medical Area." Evil! Longwood is on the D line. Longwood Medical Area is on the E line. They're actually pretty close together, so as long as you have a map, this isn't as bad a screw-up as confusing Kenmore and Kendall.
• If you drive in Boston, you deserve what you get.
• Consider actually waiting for the Walk sign. Press the little button; it's the only way to even get a Walk sign.

Miscellaneous

• The big Citgo sign sits atop a Barnes & Noble in Kenmore Square. You can't buy gas there, so don't even try.
• The bridge that connects Cambridge to Boston via Mass Ave is measured in Smoots -- it was a frat pledge prank involving a guy named Smoot and some MIT brothers with a lot of free time. Later, they re-measured the bridge with Mr. Smoot's son (leading to a new standard of measure, "New Smoots"). It's sometimes referred to as the "Smoot bridge."
• The local chain "Newbury Comics" sells CDs. Counterintuitive, yes? Some stores still sell comics, and most sell alterna-teen gear such as Manic Panic, and Doc Martens. Yes, there is one on Newbury Street.
• There is a big vertical light on top of the old John Hancock building in downtown Boston that makes general weather forecasts. The light is either blue, blinking blue, red, or blinking red. You can decode it using the following lame poem: "Solid blue, skies are too/Blinking blue, clouds are due/Solid red, rain ahead/Blinking red, snow instead." (Or, Rick says, "Blinking red: you're fucked.")
• Don't be alarmed if your bathroom light is on the outside of the bathroom. This is fairly normal. Also, your tub may have feet.
• When meeting friends in Harvard Square, "The Pit" refers to the area around the main T stop exit (You'll see punk/goth teenagers all around you and The Coop across the street from you). You might also meet at Out of Town News, which is the name of the magazine stand adjacent to The Pit.