Watching Paint Dry

Watching Paint Dry

The British tire of reality TV. Go Eggshell Red!

(via The Register)

Al Gore makes the baby Jesus cry

I caught the speech that Al Gore made today calling for Rumsfeld, Rice, and Tenet resignations on the MoveOn website (via political blog Eschaton). I like it when Democrats remember that they can speak their minds.

The GOP response is a great example of faulty logic, naturally.

Fear the coming Minoguian colonization

Taking a study break last night, Jen and I watched (and heckled) the "pageant" finale of
The Swan. I envy anyone who doesn't know of this show's existence. Fox took 16 women who all sounded like they would benefit from a little therapy, sleep, and a vacation, and subjected them to extreme plastic surgery, unqualified therapy, and intensive boot camp-style exercise to "transform" them. At least the nutritionist didn't directly pimp Atkins.

The pageant involved swimsuits, lingerie, evening gowns, and the usual question and answer section about how they have changed and now will go on to spread the dream to the rest of the world. Favorite quote: "Before the program, I had really low self esteem, especially about myself." There was a lot of reference to "the program", causing us to wonder how much brain-washing was involved, too.

We also caught a episode or two leading up to this for the train wreck factor, and it was all sorts of wrong. Two women would be videotaped in agony after surgery talking about how pretty they felt. The worst part was not the responses after these poor souls get to see their new faces for the first time at the end of the show, but that one would then immediately be told she's not good enough for the pageant.

I'm somehow still surprised only one woman dropped out.

Anyway, this all got me thinking, and I realized that Earth needs to wake up and perpare itself for intergalactic war. I've noticed a trend enslaving Europe since 2001. First there was one. Then her "sister" came on the scene. The Swan is the surest sign in a while that we have an epidemic of alien assimilation on our hands. The Minoguians are coming, my friends. Fear.

Sure, perhaps plastic surgeons just all learn one template face with standard large cheekbones. I prefer to be concerned about the doctors working alongside the enemy to desensitize us to the upcoming influx of full-blooded Minoguians into society. Or, are they testing human-alien hybrids on national television?

It's almost time for tin-foil hats...

Ausweis, bitte

Okay, I know it's 2004 and we're all supposed to be afraid of the brown people who hate our president and want to kill us all, but I still shake my head at the continuing erosion of civil liberties and the destruction of the nice country I once lived in. The Boston Globe has been reporting this weekend that the MTBA may begin stopping random passengers for ID. Are they going to kick people off the trains who are trying to commute to work because they forgot their wallet?

Why not just cut to the chase and implant microchips so we can track everyone's use of this public utility?

In Hamburg, Germany, I would get asked to routinely provide notice of who I was on the trains. But that was a yearly boarding pass with my photo attached, and I could otherwise just walk straight from street to platform to train car without turnstiles. The ID check was really just verifying that I paid to be there, and people were always caught trying to ride for free.

Side rant: the cliche was true... German public transit ran on time. In Boston, I missed trains because they were early all the time. I often would have to wait at least a half hour for the next one, and almost always then be late for something.

The subtitle on the full article says it all about where this is doomed to go, too: "But raise concerns on racial profiling".

Guh.

Boston.com / News / Local / Mass. / T riders say they'll accept security stops

T riders say they'll accept security stops
But raise concerns on racial profiling
By Peter DeMarco, Globe Correspondent | May 23, 2004

Subway riders interviewed yesterday said they won't mind if MBTA officials conduct random identification checks this summer as long as the increased security measures don't become a substantial inconvenience or raise the specter of racial profiling.

"As long as it's quick and short, it doesn't bother me," said Tom Reardon, an accountant from Dorchester, at the JFK/UMass stop. "But I don't think they should deny anyone a ride. Anyone can forget their license."

Mea Johnson, 26, an African-American student, said she didn't want to be stopped "just because I'm a minority."

"But if there was a situation where it seemed appropriate, if there is a real threat, and not just them asking whenever they want," she said, "then sure."

Just when transit police will begin identification checks, and to what extent they will be asking riders to show driver's licenses or some other form of identification, remains unclear.

MBTA police officers have been training with State Police troopers from Troop F at Logan International Airport, who are experienced in identification checks, officials said. Some riders have reported that they were asked for identification while boarding trains at South Station as part of a training program.

MBTA officials, however, would not comment yesterday on particular facets of any security measures planned this summer.

Instead, in a statement issued yesterday, authority officials said only that transit officers working with State Police are being trained "to detect whether the actions of one or more individuals indicate any level of risk or threat to the transit system and, where necessary, take steps in response to the observed behavoir."

US Representative Stephen F. Lynch, a South Boston Democrat, said, to his knowledge, federal officials have issued only "vague" directives to transit agencies on conducting identification checks.

"I've heard it's one measure they're considering. But it's very general at this point," he said.

On Friday, Lynch filed legislation calling for an additional $4.5 billion to increase rail security nationwide, which he says is woefully inadequate.

He did, however, praise MBTA officials for "being ahead of the curve" in terms of security measures, noting that scores of transit officers are training with the State Police in preparation for this summer's Democratic convention.

Some non-citizens, including Alejandro Alcaras, 20, a Cambridge College student from Mexico, questioned whether they would need to start carrying passports with them on rides.

Other riders, however, said they always carry identification with them anyway and felt that it would be no bother to show it.

"We're over in Iraq now. Who's to say [a terrorist] won't come over here to cause havoc?" asked Bob Fuller, of Stoughton.

"It would be an inconvenience," said Mark Giglio, 16, of Newton. "But maybe a necessary inconvenience."

I'm more evil than Andrea?

I saw this link on Boston buddy Andrea's blog. I didn't think it was possible, but my online blather is 3% more evil than her more eloquent musings on life and library science.

There is some amusing logic to this outcome. The "detailed analysis" gives high marks for my mocking of the creationists, and the scoring is based on Gematria, a form of bible numerology. Fun!

"That shock at the mansion had done something to my brain"

I just spent about 15 minutes or so, passing time while super geek math software compiles on my laptop, cleaning SPAM from this blog's comments sections. I am utterly confused. This is not a high traffic site. Does it even have traffic?

Most of the posts looked like a computer-generated bad novel, with words replaced here and there with drug names, and links to this obviously illegal online drug store. Yet, they also linked occasionally to real FDA or manufacturer information. And all this in early April, when this site hadn't been updated in several months.

I've preserved the text below for posterity. The mind boggles...

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Are you coming, Andy?

I'm a few days early, but I want to go on the record that I would be perfectly ecstatic if Andy Kaufman (LA Weekly article) emerges from 20 years of hiding this Sunday, May 16. Jen and I have been discussing this off and on for the past week, and it's entirely plausible (or, at least a good meme for this week).

Hey, if some total idiot credit fraudster can hide in California for 12 years, Andy Kaufman can pull off the greatest performance art stunt in history since Rasputin "died."

Either result is awe inspiring. If he's truly dead, think for a moment that he managed to get enough people to believe that he might do it that we're still speculating two decades later. That's entertainment.

Florida Law Keeping Brain-Damaged Woman Alive Ruled Unconstitutional

This looks far from over, but my pretty good day has now brightened some. I thank the Rhino that my mother was in Hawaii.

Florida Law Keeping Brain-Damaged Woman Alive Ruled Unconstitutional

By Vickie Chachere Associated Press Writer
Published: May 6, 2004

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) - A law pushed through by Gov. Jeb Bush to keep a severely brain-damaged woman alive was struck down by a Florida judge Thursday in the latest turn in one of the nation's longest and bitterest right-to-die cases.
The governor's office filed an immediate appeal.

Circuit Judge W. Douglas Baird ruled that Terri's Law, named after Terri Schiavo, is unconstitutional because it violates the disabled woman's right to privacy and delegates legislative power to the governor.

The law was passed in October, just days after the removal of a feeding tube that has helped keep Schiavo alive for more than a decade. Bush immediately invoked the new law to order the feeding tube reinserted.

The tube will remain in place while the governor pursues his appeal.

Schiavo's husband, Michael, has fought a long court battle to remove the feeding tube and carry out what he said were his wife's wishes not to be kept alive artificially. The dispute has pitted him against his in-laws, who say her condition could improve.

Baird said Terri's Law improperly gives the governor "unbridled discretion" and interferes with Terri Schiavo's right to make her own medical decisions.

The judge said Terri's Law "in every instance, ignores the existence of this right and authorizes the governor to act according to his personal discretion."

He said the governor failed to spell out any compelling state interest that would be adequate to override Schiavo's rights.

Pat Anderson, an attorney for Terri Schiavo's parents, Bob and Mary Schindler, said they were disappointed, but not surprised.

Michael Schiavo's attorney had no immediate comment.

Terri Schiavo, 40, was left severely brain damaged more than 14 years ago after her heart stopped because of a chemical imbalance brought on by an eating disorder. She left no written directive about her wishes if she were ever incapacitated.

Several right-to-die cases across the nation have been fought in the courts in recent years, but few, if any, have been this drawn-out and bitter. The tangled legal fight between Michael Schiavo and his in-laws has been heard by at least 20 judges in at least six courts.

The 2nd District Court of Appeal has previously upheld Michael Schiavo's legal quest to remove the tube.

The governor's attorneys have defended Terri's Law, saying it creates an additional layer of protection for a disabled woman who left no record of her wishes and whose husband has a conflict of interest in wanting to end her life.

Michael Schiavo is engaged to another woman with whom he has two children. At one point in the case, he stood to inherit hundreds of thousands of dollars from a medical trust fund that paid for his wife's care; the money has largely been depleted through legal bills.

Bush's decision to intercede in the case brought criticism from Democrats and accusations that the Republican was pandering to anti-abortion conservatives.

AP-ES-05-06-04 1607EDT

"You need to learn to be coordinated for Jesus Christ"

The New York Times > Arts > Darwin-Free Fun for Creationists
By ABBY GOODNOUGH
May 1, 2004
Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company

PENSACOLA, Fla., April 29 — Robert and Schön Passmore took their children to Disney World last fall and left bitterly disappointed. As Christians who reject evolutionary theory, the family scoffed at the park's dinosaur attractions, which date the apatosaurus, brachiosaurus and the like to prehistoric times.

"My kids kept recognizing flaws in the presentation," said Mrs. Passmore, of Jackson, Ala. "You know — the whole `millions of years ago dinosaurs ruled the earth' thing."

So this week, the Passmores sought out a lower-profile Florida attraction: Dinosaur Adventure Land, a creationist theme park and museum here that beckons children to "find out the truth about dinosaurs" with games that roll science and religion into one big funfest with the message that Genesis, not science, tells the real story of the creation.

Kent Hovind, the minister who opened the park in 2001, said his aim was to spread the message of creationism through a fixture of mainstream America — the theme park — instead of pleading its case at academic conferences and in courtrooms.

Mr. Hovind, a former public school science teacher with his own ministry, Creation Science Evangelism, and a hectic lecture schedule, said he had opened Dinosaur Adventure Land to counter all the science centers and natural history museums that explain the evolution of life with Darwinian theory. There are dinosaur bone replicas, with accompanying explanations that God made dinosaurs on Day 6 of the creation as described in Genesis, 6,000 years ago. Among the products the park gift shop peddles are T-shirts with a small fish labeled "Darwin" getting gobbled by a bigger fish labeled "Truth."

"There are a lot of creationists that are really smart and debate the intellectuals, but the kids are bored after five minutes," said Mr. Hovind, who looks boyish at 51 and talks fast. "You're missing 98 percent of the population if you only go the intellectual route."

The theme park is just the latest approach to promoting creationism outside the usual school curriculum route, which Mr. Hovind and others see as important, but too limited and not sufficiently appealing to modern young families. Creationist groups are also promoting creationist vacations, including dinosaur digs in South Dakota, fossil-collecting trips in Australia and New Zealand, and tours of the Grand Canyon ("raft the canyon and learn how Noah's flood contributed to the formation").

Dan Johnson, an assistant manager of the park, said there were also creationism-themed cruises, with lectures on the subject amid swimming and shuffleboard.

A Kentucky creationist group called Answers in Genesis says it is building a 100,000-square-foot complex outside Cincinnati with a museum, classrooms, a planetarium and a special-effects theater where moviegoers can experience the flood and other events described in Genesis.

Ken Ham, the group's chief executive, said marketing surveys suggested that the complex would draw not just home-schooling families and other creationists, but mainstream church groups and curiosity seekers. Mr. Ham said a former Universal Studios art director was designing exhibits for the complex, including dioramas of Adam and Eve and a model of Noah's Ark. The complex will open in 2006 at the earliest, Mr. Ham said.

At Dinosaur Adventure Land, visitors can make their own Grand Canyon replica with sand and read a sign deriding textbooks for teaching that the Colorado River formed the canyon over millions of years: "This is clearly not possible. The top of the Grand Canyon is 4,000 feet higher than where the river enters the canyon! Rivers do not flow up hill!"

There is a movie depicting the creation, the flood and the fall of man, which fast-forwards from a lush Garden of Eden to a New York City traffic jam.

There are no mechanized rides at Dinosaur Adventure Land — no creationist-themed roller coasters, scramblers or even a ferris wheel — but instead, a simple discovery center and museum and about a dozen outdoor games, each of which has a "science lesson" and "spiritual lesson" posted nearby. A group of about 60 parents and home-schooled children who visited Wednesday, including the Passmores, spent all afternoon trying the games, which promote religious faith more than creationist tenets.

Take Jumpasaurus, which involves jumping on a trampoline while trying to throw a ball through a hoop as many times as possible in a minute. The science lesson: "You will use coordination in this game, which means you will be doing more than one thing at once." The spiritual lesson, according to Mr. Johnson: "You need to learn to be coordinated for Jesus Christ so you can get more things done for him."

Somewhat more creationist in approach is the Nerve-Wracking Ball: a bowling ball on a rope, dangling from a tall tree branch. A child stands before the ball, and then a park guide gives it a shove from a specific angle, so that it comes careering back at the child's face only to stop just in front of it. The child wins if he does not flinch, proving he has "faith in God's laws" — in this case, that a swinging object will never come back higher than the point from which it took off.

Eugenie Scott, executive director of the National Center for Science Education, which tracks creationist programs, said traditional creationists like Mr. Hovind had in fact given up on building intellectual credibility years ago.

"They have been going the grass-roots mainstream route for at least 20 years," she said. "So I'm not surprised they are the ones sponsoring group vacations and theme parks and things like that."

Dinosaur Adventure Land, tucked behind a highway lined with car dealerships in this metropolitan area of 425,000, sits next to Mr. Hovind's home and the offices of Creation Science Evangelism, which he said he founded in 1989. Mr. Hovind is well known in Pensacola, and even in a region where religious billboards almost outnumber commercial ones he is controversial. Escambia County sued him in 2000 after he refused to get a $50 permit before building his theme park, saying the government had no authority over a church.

Just last week Internal Revenue Service agents used a search warrant to remove financial documents from Mr. Hovind's home and offices, saying he was not paying taxes and had neither a business license nor tax-exempt status for his enterprises.

Mr. Hovind did not want to discuss the I.R.S. investigation, saying only, "I don't have any tax obligations."

The man who calls himself Dr. Dino is also controversial among creationists, some of whom say he discredits their movement with some of his pseudo-scientific claims. Mr. Hovind got into a dispute in 2002 with Answers in Genesis, when he took issue with an article it published called "Arguments We Think Creationists Should Not Use." One such argument was that footprints found in Texas proved that man and dinosaurs coexisted; Mr. Hovind said he considered the argument, now abandoned by many creationists, valid. Mr. Hovind said he gave 700 lectures a year and that 38,000 people had visited his park, at $7 a head. According to a map that invites visitors to pinpoint their hometown, most come from the Florida Panhandle and from Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee.

Rachel Painter, camp director at the Alpha Omega Institute, which runs several creationist family summer camps in Colorado, said creationist vacations had gained popularity as the number of Christian home-schooling families had grown. The institute started its camps 18 years ago with 4 families per session, she said, but now up to 18 attend each, and from more states.

Wade and Joan Killingsworth, who belong to a home-schooling coalition called Solid Rock Christian School, said they took their children to Colonial Williamsburg over spring break and came to Dinosaur Adventure Land because it was similarly educational. But they and the Passmores, who traveled from Alabama with eight minivans of like-minded families, said this type of road trip had far more to offer.

"We've been to museums, discovery centers, where you have to sit there and take the evolutionary stuff," Mr. Passmore said. "It feels good for them to finally hear it in a public place, something that reinforces their beliefs."

lo bob!

PIE!

you are pulled from the wreckage / of your silent reverie

Well, crap. or as Stephen King might put it, "shit on a stick!"

Let's see. If I round numbers a little, we're talking 6 months since I last posted. Meh. I can do better.

A brief snapshot before the story continues on us and I forget, for there have been a few things that have reminded me to shut up and post.

In completely brief and completely random neuron firings:

I made it past the anniversary of my mother's death.

I have camped in Joshua Tree, Big Sur, and Lake Skinner.

Jen's friend from frickin' summer camp 18 years ago, Beth Holmes, died. I hope that Jen saved her excellent web eulogy somewhere, too.

I'm still in grad school. This is neat. I have chosen a laboratory, but that remains a subject I'll hold close a bit longer, lest I mix work and fun too much. It's an interesting model organism, anyway.

Whoa.